So I’ve wondered about something for quite some time. What would I do if my teenage son came home and revealed to us that he was gay?
It’s reality. No matter how hard we try, not matter what we do, there is still going to be a time when our children or someone we love does something that we consider to be against the very fiber of our being. After all, we all have a right to decide what we want to do with our lives and who we choose to love.
I debated about whether or not to create this post because I know and love a few people who have chosen a homosexual lifestyle. Some would even argue that they didn’t choose it, they were born that way. That’s a discussion for a different time and place. Right now and this very moment we’re talking about how you (or I) would react if your child came home and revealed that they were gay.
So let me set it up for you. You raise your child in a Christian home where you teach the bible. You try to live as Christ and so on and so forth. As part of that rearing you teach your child that homosexuality is a sin. How do you react to this new revelation bestowed upon you by your very own offspring? They aren’t going to just engage in one act of sin – but a lifestyle of sin.
What would you do?
The primary reason I ask this question is because I recently encountered someone in my professional life (not necessarily in the office) who openly revealed that they have a same-sex partner. They’ve been together almost 20 years. They’ve even tried to get pregnant O_0….yeah. This person is very likeable, great at what they do professionally and from all appearances seems to be a very loving and kind person – who also believes in Christ. I knew that this person was gay, or at least suspected it, after our first encounter. They later went on to confirm it without me asking questions. It really didn’t make a difference to me – they were outside of my control and my circle. So to me what they did in the privacy of their life outside of our interactions – is their business. Feel me? I didn’t discount it to simply a sexual relationship that they have with their partner. Obviously after almost 20 years there has to be some love and/or kindness going on.
So I began to question myself. I didn’t question my beliefs. On the contrary, I believe the word no matter what. What I did question is how I would react if the child I raised came home and told me that he was gay. That’s some serious shit. Aside from saying the expected things like – “He’s my child and I’ll love him no matter what he does.” Or saying “I’ll pray him out of that decision.” I would be crushed.
You could use this same situation with any other area of your life where you would hope that your child wouldn’t go against your beliefs. Whether it is where they choose to live, the friends they choose, their drug of choice or whatever the decision they make that goes against what you have raised them to believe and follow it will likely rock you to your core.
As I’m typing this, my husband asked me “What would you do?” I told him seriously I don’t know. He then started rattling off his list of questions: Who touched you? What happened? What did they do to you? He went on to say that he would look at him differently. Now I honestly don’t think that he would ostracize the child but his immediate response that I just experienced while typing this post shows me that he would also be rocked to his core. Most of us would immediately relate it to a sexual act and not a choice of lifestyle. I believe that they are not necessarily one in the same but one is more of a symptom or an indication of the other. Not only would we question the child but we would turn that questioning internally and begin to ask the question about where we failed as a parent.
So what would you do? I would hope that you continued to love your child/family member/friend. But how do you relate to the CHOICE that they made for themselves?
We’re human. We love. We feel. We hurt.